It’s time to stop using “Buddy”, “Pal”, “You there” or those eyes you give to someone in a group meeting when you want them to know you mean them.
I bet you have been introduced to someone a second later you’re standing there nodding your head thinking “who the shitting hell are you?”. Yeap I’ve been there many times, it’s easy to do but we need to stop, as remembering someone’s name is first step to building a meaningful relationship.
Think back and remember when someone remembered your name after an initial introduction, it makes you feel special, shows respect to you and that the person cares however remember that time when someone didn’t remember your name after a few times of meeting each other? It sends a clear message that they don’t deem you important.
“A person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language,” writes Dale Carnegie in his classic book How to Win Friends and Influence People.
Here are three tips to do tips to remember someone’s name:
1- Repeat the fuck out of the name as many times as you can when you meet someone new. E.g. “It’s nice to meet you John or glad we can final meet Susan”. Then again, when you end the conversation e.g. “Thanks again John or I’ll be sure to get that over to you Susan”
2- Write it down straight after so its fresh in your head. A classic name remembering technique or any memory remembering for that matter. Be sure to play it cool and don’t write it down in front of them, if not make sure you do this at the end of the day at least, any later and you probably fucked it.
3- Connect the new name or their face to a nick name or visual image. Whenever I meet people called Steve I call them Steve the pirate, thanks dodgeball.
Here’s not what to do:
4- Don’t talk to yourself. It’s easy to drift the fuck out of this world and start thinking about what you’re going to say next making you forget their name but don’t think, just listen and respond when they have finished.
5- I once got told to never again say to yourself or another, “I’m terrible at remembering names.” You are what you say you are say you are and the other person is only going to think less of you.
6- Don’t lose focus on the person you are talking to. Get into the habit of asking this question to yourself “what is their name” as soon as you meet someone so this should force you to focus. Think about the importance of remembering that person’s name.
“Remembering names is not a IS NOT A MEMORY PROBLEM. IT IS A FOCUS PROBLEM.”-Ron White, winner of the USA Memory Championship in 2009 and 2010
Remembering names is a top-class skill and you need to try these techniques every day to make your memory muscle grow, then over time it will become second nature. Why don’t you set yourself a challenge and try remembering a new name every day or week?
REMEMBER LIKE YOU GIVE A F@CK